Grief: What to do when it’s the anniversary of your loved one’s date of passing.

This topic is difficult and hard to explain because many people don’t understand how hard it is when someone’s death “Anniversary” comes around. Here are some ways to manage the grief that may help you get through this very sad day:

  • Do something in memory of your loved one. Plant flowers, visit memorial, create something that will help you feel good about remembering them.
  • If you work, you can do two things: take the day off, or work. Some people need to keep things as regular as possible. That’s okay. If you take the day off, take some time for self care.
  • Utilize self care. Take a bath with scented bath salts, enjoy a nice candle, get a massage, facial or whatever makes you feel good. Maybe this sounds strange. Why should you do things for yourself when you are feeling sad and depressed when grieving the death of a loved one? Well, ask yourself this: what would your loved one want you to do?
  • Finally talk about your grief. Many do not because they don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable but you would be surprised at the support people can give you.

Photographer: janwardenbach

Everyone grieves in different ways and you need to do what helps you. The above items listed may not help you at all; in fact you may have your own way to remember your loved one on the anniversary of the day they died. Remembering them is what will help you grieve, no matter how you do it.

Developing Minds Clinic

What is PCIT?

PCIT is the acronym for Parent-Child Interaction Therapy. PCIT is an evidence-based treatment model utilized primarily for children with behavioral difficulties ages 2-7, but in some cases can be utilized with children up to age 12. PCIT is highly specified, including live coaching sessions requiring both the child and the caregiver(s) present. PCIT is typically completed between 12-20 weekly 90-minute sessions but is dependent upon parental mastery of skills. Throughout live-coaching sessions between caregiver(s) and child, parents will be coached to learn specific skills as they are interacting in specified play with the child. Typically, PCIT is structured utilizing a “bug-in-the-ear” device in which the therapist will provide moment-to-moment coaching from behind a one-way mirror.

The goals of PCIT are to improve and repair negative parent-child patterns and aims to lead towards:

  •    a decrease in child behavioral problems and attention-seeking  behaviors
  •    an improvement in the quality of the parent-child relationship
  •    an increase in parenting skills and parent confidence
  •    increase in the child’s prosocial skills, self-esteem, and healthy attachment to caregiver

PCIT sessions begin with relationship-enhancing skills and will then move into positive discipline skills upon mastery of foundational relationship-enhancing skills. Typically stage one of PCIT can last between 6-10 weeks before moving into stage two. Relationship-enhancing skills are taught first in order to improve the parent-child relationship, the child’s respect for the parent, the child’s self-esteem, the child’s attention-span, and to decrease parental frustration and stress to prepare both parent and child for learning new discipline strategies.

Stage two of PCIT will comprise of learning evidence-based disciplinary strategies to assist the child in accepting limits, complying with directions, respecting and following rules, and to demonstrate expected, prosocial, appropriate behaviors in a variety of settings. This stage prepares the parent in setting limits, giving understandable and manageable commands, and engaging in a specified, proven time out procedure.

PCIT requires weekly attendance by both child and caregiver(s) as well as daily homework of 5-10 minutes. PCIT requires a secure commitment of an average of 12-20 weeks of weekly, 90 minute sessions and cannot be terminated mid-way. PCIT ends upon mastery of both stages of skill sets and parental report that the child’s behavior is within typical limits on a child behavior rating scale.

PCIT has been highly researched and has displayed both clinically and statistically significant improvements in negative behaviors in children ages 2-7. In addition to significant improvements in the child’s behaviors, PCIT has also demonstrated significant improvements in the parents’ interaction styles with their children.

To learn more about PCIT or to schedule an intake with Julianna for PCIT, call our front desk at 425-598-8800.

Developing Minds Clinic

Developing Minds’ 5 best self care ideas!

1 – Get Adequate Rest

The average adult needs 7-9 hours of sleep a night. This can be hard especially when you have little kids.

  • Consider trading off mornings to sleep in with your partner.
  • Have a babysitter or trusted adult watch your children in the morning to get extra zzz’s.
  • Make a structured bedtime routine for you and your children.
  • Try guided imagery or progressive muscle relaxation before to relax mind and body.

2 – Be active  

Exercise releases endorphins which improves mood and decreases anxiety.

  • Yoga
  • Walk/Run
  • Swim
  • Hike

3 – Reflect and Recharge

Daily reflection can help increase self awareness, build self-esteem, and stress management skills.

  • Practice mindfulness
  • Journaling
  • Meditation/Aromatherapy
  • Art

4 – Connect with others

It is important in this generation of technology to connected face to face with loved ones.

  • Meal times with family
  • Put away devices when having family time
  • Grab some coffee with a friend
  • Go to happy hour with a coworker

5 – Treat yourself

Taking time to yourself is necessary, especially when taking care of others.  

  • Massage
  • Manicure\Pedicure
  • Take a bath
  • Find time to do your favorite hobby

We’d love to hear from you! Comment below about your favorite self care activity.

Developing Minds Clinic